In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. In the Beginning was God – and all else was darkness, and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. And the earth God divided between the land and the sea, and these He filled with many assorted creatures. And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors, and He dressed them accordingly.
And the flighty creatures of the air He called airmen. And these He clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and fowl.
And the lower creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God gave them trousers too short, and covers too large, and pockets to warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges. And He gave them cords. And He gave them ribbons… and patches… and stars… and bells. He gave them emblems… and crests… and all sorts of shiny things that glittered… and devices that dangled. When you’re God, you tend to get carried away in a big way.
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy.
GOD WAS NOT HAPPY!
So He thought about His labors, and in His infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this He called a Marine. And these Marines whom God created in His own image, were to be of the air, the land, and the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms.
He gave them practical, fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.
He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, that they might be sharp and ready.
And He gave them evening and dress uniforms. Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so they might score with the ladies on Saturday night, and impress the hell outta everybody!
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth, and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No!
GOD WAS STILL NOT HAPPY!
Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing… He did not have a Marine uniform! But He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied Himself in knowing that, well, not everybody can be a Marine…
